Ravi Kumar, via Wikimedia Commons Do you ever find yourself saying, I’m stressed to anyone who will listen? Me too. Often we just want to be seen. Or maybe for you it’s not stress, but worry. Sometimes it feels good just to share what we’re carrying with someone else, especially if they can relate. But sometimes I feel worse after sharing – not because the other person wasn’t sympathetic, but often because they were. Maybe we just spent 30 minutes talking about all the things that are bad, or...
18 days ago • 4 min read
The Mushroom Wellington This year for Thanksgiving, I made a vegetarian main dish. Just for me. It was a bit of a breakthrough. I mean, usually I just eat the sides, which are the best parts anyway. But this year, I didn’t want just the sides. I wanted a main course. And so, I made one. A Mushroom Wellington. If I had read the recipe before buying the ingredients, I might have balked. It’s not hard but it’s a bit fussy. I might have said, “It’s not worth it." Thankfully, I didn’t. To be clear...
2 months ago • 4 min read
November blooms What do you want to say yes to? I've been reading a book by Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl. It's actually a series of lectures, recently published in English for the first time. It's called, Yes To Life: In Spite of Everything. That gets right to it, doesn't it? How do we say yes to life, in spite of everything? In spite of our pain and worry. In spite of all we don't know. In spite of all that is wrong. It's easy to focus on what we don't want, isn't it? And for sure...
2 months ago • 3 min read
Tomorrow is my 56th birthday. I'm not feeling it. I love my birthday. I really appreciate my life and my birthday is a time to reflect on my blessings – also, presents! Cake! But this year, I didn’t get what I most wanted – Kamala Harris as the next president. I’m feeling sad, worried, and other emotions that aren’t very birthday-ish. My husband and I usually take our birthdays off from work and do something fun. I'm not sure what to do, what will feel right -- but even though I don't feel...
3 months ago • 3 min read
I was talking to a friend who was exhausted by her teaching. She was staying up late at night grading papers, spending 30 minutes on each one. She knew it was unsustainable, but she couldn’t see a way out of it. She told me she really valued being an excellent teacher. “What about sometimes being a good enough teacher?” I suggested. My friend shuttered (literally!). She wanted to be a great teacher and for her, great teaching meant significant time with each student’s paper. Of course I...
6 months ago • 3 min read
When my husband and I were newly married, we had a disagreement that revealed how differently we saw the world. It was about TV. I loved watching TV together. After a long work day, I loved watching together. I’d get under the covers, put on a show, and invite him to join me. Often he’d decline (the nerve!). After a few weeks of this, I was mad. This guy had just pledged to spend the rest of his life with me, but I couldn’t get him to watch TV with me? My husband didn’t get it. He said, “It’s...
6 months ago • 3 min read
Grandma, Grandpa Nat, and me, mid-90s Remember senior pictures? In my day, they were like every other year except in senior year you wore a black drape. When my grandmother saw mine she said, “Brooke Shields has nothing on you!” And then she added, “Well . . . from the neck up.” Oof. My grandma loved me fiercely, but sometimes she couldn’t stop herself from making comments. Those comments especially stung because I heard them all the time. In the 1980s there was no shortage of messages...
7 months ago • 3 min read
Pride month is over, but we can live its lessons year-round. Are you proud? Maybe if you’re not part of the LGBTQIA+ community, you think you don’t get to be proud. Maybe your religious tradition taught you that pride was a sin. Maybe your mother told you, “Don’t be boastful” and you made yourself small. Whoever you are, you get to be proud. Not because you’re amazing. Not because you’re better than anyone else. You get to be proud because you're YOU, and because pride is an antidote to...
7 months ago • 4 min read
Hello love, Yesterday we celebrated my daughter’s college graduation. Earlier that morning, a dear friend’s father passed away. I have to take a breath to hold it all, the joy and the sorrow. I know they live right next to each other. My father passed away the day after the birthday of one of my oldest & dearest friends. We chose that day to take him off life support because I didn’t want my friend’s birthday to also be the day of my father’s passing. Years later, her father passed away on my...
7 months ago • 3 min read