What do you want to say yes to?

I've been reading a book by Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl. It's actually a series of lectures, recently published in English for the first time. It's called, Yes To Life: In Spite of Everything.

That gets right to it, doesn't it?

How do we say yes to life, in spite of everything?

In spite of our pain and worry. In spite of all we don't know. In spite of all that is wrong.

It's easy to focus on what we don't want, isn't it? And for sure there's a place for that. Knowing our NO helps us find our YES.

But answering this question, What do I want to say yes to? unlocks a path forward.

In spite of everything, I want to say yes to love.

In spite of everything, I want to say yes to compassion.

In spite of everything, I want to say yes to my well-being.

In spite of everything, I want to say yes to connection.

From this, a path starts to take shape. Step by step. I put down my phone and say yes to a hike. I say yes to meeting a friend for coffee even though that means my house will stay messy another week. I say yes to meeting someone new, even though it feels easier to stay in my comfort zone.

Sometimes we want to sit down and Make A Plan -- a big plan for the future -- and if one is calling to you, turn towards it and get quiet enough to hear it. But sometimes we don't have A Big Plan, we only have our feelings and we're not even sure about them. We may feel a lot of different things, all at once.

At these times, we can still get there, step by step. I know a lot of people are living in both worlds after the election -- wanting to plan for an uncertain future, and also, wanting to feel our way, step by step. This question will help.

What do I want to say yes to?

When an answer comes to you, find a way to make it happen. How will you say yes to love? Yes to calm? Yes to compassion? (Or whatever comes up for you -- yes to yourself, yes to courage, yes to boundaries). There's no single, perfect answer -- there's just what you decide for right now. So make it specific -- How will I say yes to love this week? How will I say yes to compassion in the coming month? How will I say yes to myself in the coming year?

How will I say yes to life, in spite of everything?

It's not an "ask once" question, is it? It's a carry-in-my-heart-and-ask-again-and-again question.

I'm so glad we can ask and answer it together ❤️

In my podcast, I've been thinking about joy and other defiant emotions. If you want to take back your joy (or other powerful emotions), first listen to Episode 73: Take Back Your Joy, which I recorded in October 2023. Then, listen to the two most recent episodes: Take Back Your Joy, Part 2, and Defiant Emotions.

​Episode 128: Take Back Your Joy, Part Two ​

In this episode of Making Midlife Magic, I offer a part 2 to episode 73, Take Back Your Joy. Inspired by a recent paper I wrote on joy in the face of trauma, I explore the idea of joy as a shared, communal experience. Joy isn’t just personal; when we share it with others, we expand our collective capacity for joy. Take back your joy -- for yourself and for all of us.

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​Episode 129: Defiant Emotions ​

Are you ready to feel defiantly joyful? Defiantly calm? Defiantly loving? If you are, you may have to first stop feeling certain emotions you've been socialized into (eg, caring about how neat your house is, or never disappointing anyone) in order to start feeling powerful and defiant emotions. By intentionally nurturing emotions like defiant love, care, or hope at a time when the world around us may be discouraging these emotions, we can create powerful shifts in our lives and in the world around us. Choose your own defiant emotions and share your journey, so we can build a supportive community together.

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love, Rachel

P.S. I keep this song on repeat when I need a dose of defiant joy -- this version especially, as it is from Lucinda Williams' first tour after having a stroke. Whatever you want to defiantly feel, a playlist can help you to nurture those feelings on demand, so think about making your own playlist and calling it Defiant Joy, Defiant Calm, or whatever you want to nurture for yourself. And then consider sharing it with others, so we can support each other in nurturing these feelings.

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I've been feeling called to start some kind of community for people who want to nurture powerful positive feelings, to not let the news steal our joy, hope, compassion, or calm. I'm still envisioning the details, so if you have any dreams of what you'd love, reply to this email and let me know, so we can say yes together. ❤️