Pride month is over, but we can live its lessons year-round.

Are you proud?

Maybe if you’re not part of the LGBTQIA+ community, you think you don’t get to be proud.

Maybe your religious tradition taught you that pride was a sin.

Maybe your mother told you, “Don’t be boastful” and you made yourself small.

Whoever you are, you get to be proud.

Not because you’re amazing.

Not because you’re better than anyone else.

You get to be proud because you're YOU, and because pride is an antidote to shame.

We’ve all felt shame.

In June, LGBTQIA+ people say, “We’re proud to be who we are.” It’s a beautiful thing, to be in a space of radical acceptance of all people.

Being yourself is truly something to be proud of. It’s so easy to feel shame.

We feel shame for being too much, or being too little.

We feel shame for not having enough money, or for being wealthy.

We feel shame for having big dreams, or for being content with an ordinary life.

If you’re feeling shame, pride might feel too far away.

The good news is, pride is a habit. It’s not once a year, or even the month of June. It’s a habit of mind we can nurture.

Practice pride.

The other day, I saw photos of myself and my initial thought was, “Oof, I thought that shirt was more flattering.” And then I consciously chose other thoughts, “I had a great time.” “Pictures are just a moment in time – not real life,” and I stopped thinking about it.

Man, was I proud.

A decade ago, I would not have been able to do this so easily.

I love the daily practice of finding three things I’m proud of, every day. I’m practicing pride with a group of friends and we text our three things to each other at the end of the day.

Some days, I find three work accomplishments. I’m proud of all I got done.

Some days, it’s about my feelings. I’m proud I was calm & not reactive.

Some days it’s not easy to find three things. My brain says, “There’s NOTHING to celebrate about this day,” but it’s never true. There’s always something – and if I need to, I write that I’m proud of looking for things to be proud of (Meta, but true!).

When you find something to be proud of, don’t just note it – feel it. What does pride feel like in your body?

For me, pride creates more space in my chest and makes it easier to breathe.

Celebrating yourself is not boastful. It’s how we survive well.

If it helps, notice what a difference it makes to see other people being themselves. Whether you're gay, straight, or bi; trans or cis; large or small; neurodiverse or neurotypical, living your life with pride, being fully yourself, makes a difference to someone else.

You don’t need to know who that person is. You just need to know they exist.

Practice pride. Feel it in your bones. Let it seep into the corners where shame hides.

And know that everything is better when you celebrate beautiful, quirky, one-in-a-million YOU. ❤️

We often use good feelings to motivate ourselves to do things -- as a kind of reward. I'll be proud of myself after I get a book contract. I'll feel abundant after I have more savings. I'll feel accomplished after I get the promotion.

Not only does this not work (because we tend to keep moving the goalposts), but the truth is, we have it backwards. We need to feel those good feelings in order to achieve the things we want. We need to feel proud of ourselves to get the book contract; to feel abundant in order to save money; to feel accomplished to get the promotion. In other words, we have to give ourselves the future feelings NOW. That's the topic of this week's podcast.

Episode #110: Future Feelings

Where will you be in a year? Where do you want to be?

We often use these questions against ourselves. In this episode I talk about a different way of thinking about growth and change, one focused on our feelings.

Do you want to feel different in a year? Do you want to feel more joy, confidence, connection? This episode is for you. I also share information about my new small group coaching program, The Year of You. Take a listen and let me know what resonates!

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Love, Rachel

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P.S. A client used to see me on an "as needed" basis and is now having weekly sessions. She's shocked at how much more helpful it is. She said the value is exponential when it’s more frequent. It makes sense! It's the difference between cleaning your office once a month for an hour and piling up papers the rest of the month, and spending time every day practicing new habits because you spend an hour cleaning up every week. Our brains have decades of our habituated thinking! Creating new habits of mind takes regular practice. This is what we'll be doing in my six-week small group coaching program https://www.coachingwithrachel.com/yearofyou.

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P.P.S. The sales page for my small group coaching program makes a lot of beginner copywriting mistakes. It isn't specific enough. I see it but am not sure yet how to fix it. Know why? Because it's my first time! And what I know is this: You put things out in the world FIRST and fix them SECOND. If you wait until you're happy with it, you might never put it out. I know this work is amazing and life-changing, and you shouldn't have to wait until I learn the rules of copywriting to access it. So I'm putting it out in the world in its imperfect-but-heartfelt form. I'm also putting together an FAQ, so if you have questions, let me know and I'll add your question to the list.

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I'm also learning how to show up imperfectly on social media! I figure it takes a lot of reels before they come more naturally, so I'd better get started. If you're not following me, please do and please subscribe to the podcast and share it with your friends. Thanks so much for helping me to reach more people! And if someone forwarded this to you, please subscribe for your own at lovenotes.coachingwithrachel.com.

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