What are you proud of today?

I’m proud of writing this love note. It’s been months! (No, you didn’t fall off my list).

The more I kept putting it off, the harder it was to do. This is how it is, right? When we haven't done a habit in a long time it feels hard to start up again. All the stories rush in -- I can't do it, I've lost my mojo, Maybe I was wrong to believe I could do this.

And those stories are followed by shame. For me, shame shows up as a big Ugggghhhhhhh, followed by a desire to spend more time under the covers, hiding.

Today I decided just to do it, because Pride Month is almost over.

Thank you to the LGBTQ+ community for showing so powerfully that pride is the antidote to shame.

Flipping the script.

Not only refusing to feel shame, but celebrating who you are. In all your messy, beautiful humanness.

Pride is a challenging emotion for many of us. Some of us were told that pride was bad, that it meant you thought you were better than other people. Some of us were told that if you were too proud, something bad was sure to happen. Or that people who were proud of their accomplishments “needed to be taken down a few pegs.” Some people look at Pride celebrations and say, "Why do they have to be so in your face?"

There are so many voices telling us to be small.

No wonder pride can be challenging! It feels easier to default to gratitude. Gratitude feels safe. People may criticize others for being proud of themselves, but no one ever criticizes someone for being too grateful. (Well, maybe on the internet, because there’s someone criticizing everything on the internet).

Gratitude is great!, but it’s no replacement for pride. We need both.

Gratitude lets us feel all that we have right now.

Pride lets us feel all that we are right now.

Many people have a regular gratitude practice of writing down three things they're grateful for. If you do this, make sure to choose different things every day. The big ones come easy – family, friends, pets, coffee :) . . . . but the more you do it, the more your mind will see all the smaller things. I’m grateful for my neighbor’s wind chimes. I’m grateful for cheese (seriously, so many kinds and almost all of them delicious!)

You may even start to be grateful for yourself and that kind of gratitude might ease you into pride.

Pride lets us be grateful for ourselves. For our resilience. Our creativity. Our compassion. Our humanity.

To a gratitude practice, you can add a pride practice. At the end of the day, write, Three things I’m proud of myself for today are . . . .

At first, you’ll think of the big things. I’m proud of my commitment to my family, I’m proud of my work, I’m proud of my art. But as you keep going, you’ll see the smaller things. I’m proud that I made that dentist appointment. I’m proud that I made my bed. I'm proud that I was kind to myself when I messed up that project.

You may even find things that have nothing to do with your to do list:

I’m proud that I’m sensitive

I’m proud that I laugh easily

I'm proud that I keep going.

This kind of pride lets us show up more fully in the world as our beautiful selves. Seeing our gifts doesn't stop us from seeing gifts in others -- it makes us more able to see them!

I'm grateful to the LGBTQ+ community for showing the power of pride, visibility, and the refusal to be anyone other than your true self. That's worth celebrating in June and every other month of the year.

This week, try on a version of a pride practice. If three things a day is too much, start by finding one thing every day you're proud of doing, being, creating, affirming, believing, or supporting. Let yourself feel pride in your body and see where it takes you. Hit reply to this email to let me know what you're proud of this week and I'll celebrate with you! ❤️

Pride is all about showing up fully as ourselves and embracing who we are. Showing Up is the topic of this week's podcast -- I'm proud to have shown up for 154 episodes!

​Ep #154: Showing Up is a Superpower ​

In this episode, I talk about what it really means to show up—and why it’s often the missing piece between where we are and where we want to be. In this episode:

➤ Showing up as a commitment to a relationship -- with yourself and your desires

➤ How a "showing up audit" can help you see where you're pulling back

➤ How looking at all the good things our showing up has already created can unlock new courage

➤ How showing up helps others and why this can increase our desire to be brave

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Love,

Rachel

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P.S. The people of Hungary showed up for Pride even after their government told them not to. So inspiring! Showing up can be contagious in the best of ways.

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