Tomorrow is my 56th birthday. I'm not feeling it. I love my birthday. I really appreciate my life and my birthday is a time to reflect on my blessings – also, presents! Cake! But this year, I didn’t get what I most wanted – Kamala Harris as the next president. I’m feeling sad, worried, and other emotions that aren’t very birthday-ish. My husband and I usually take our birthdays off from work and do something fun. I'm not sure what to do, what will feel right -- but even though I don't feel...
21 days ago • 3 min read
I was talking to a friend who was exhausted by her teaching. She was staying up late at night grading papers, spending 30 minutes on each one. She knew it was unsustainable, but she couldn’t see a way out of it. She told me she really valued being an excellent teacher. “What about sometimes being a good enough teacher?” I suggested. My friend shuttered (literally!). She wanted to be a great teacher and for her, great teaching meant significant time with each student’s paper. Of course I...
4 months ago • 3 min read
When my husband and I were newly married, we had a disagreement that revealed how differently we saw the world. It was about TV. I loved watching TV together. After a long work day, I loved watching together. I’d get under the covers, put on a show, and invite him to join me. Often he’d decline (the nerve!). After a few weeks of this, I was mad. This guy had just pledged to spend the rest of his life with me, but I couldn’t get him to watch TV with me? My husband didn’t get it. He said, “It’s...
4 months ago • 3 min read
Grandma, Grandpa Nat, and me, mid-90s Remember senior pictures? In my day, they were like every other year except in senior year you wore a black drape. When my grandmother saw mine she said, “Brooke Shields has nothing on you!” And then she added, “Well . . . from the neck up.” Oof. My grandma loved me fiercely, but sometimes she couldn’t stop herself from making comments. Those comments especially stung because I heard them all the time. In the 1980s there was no shortage of messages...
4 months ago • 3 min read
Pride month is over, but we can live its lessons year-round. Are you proud? Maybe if you’re not part of the LGBTQIA+ community, you think you don’t get to be proud. Maybe your religious tradition taught you that pride was a sin. Maybe your mother told you, “Don’t be boastful” and you made yourself small. Whoever you are, you get to be proud. Not because you’re amazing. Not because you’re better than anyone else. You get to be proud because you're YOU, and because pride is an antidote to...
5 months ago • 4 min read
Hello love, Yesterday we celebrated my daughter’s college graduation. Earlier that morning, a dear friend’s father passed away. I have to take a breath to hold it all, the joy and the sorrow. I know they live right next to each other. My father passed away the day after the birthday of one of my oldest & dearest friends. We chose that day to take him off life support because I didn’t want my friend’s birthday to also be the day of my father’s passing. Years later, her father passed away on my...
5 months ago • 3 min read
strawberries & cream meets nutella-banana Happy Saturday! I recently took my daughter out for brunch. She wanted crepes and couldn’t decide between two flavors. “Let’s ask if you can have one of each. They can always say no.” They said yes. Actually, the server went to ask the manager and then came back and said, “We’ve never done this but he said we can do it for $3.” What a great lesson for $3. We’ve never done this. Yes we can. Because we asked. If they’ve never done it it means no one has...
8 months ago • 2 min read
Photo by Jongsun Lee on Unsplash Happy Monday! Rather cheeky, aren't I? Are we even allowed to feel happy on Mondays? I mean, we all know that person, the one who comes into the office, cheerful on Monday -- Sometimes we love their relentless cheerfulness and sometimes it drives us bonkers. I admit -- sometimes I am that person! And sometimes I pretend I'm not. If people around me are complaining about Monday, I want to join in. We're social beings and it feels good to be connected to others,...
8 months ago • 4 min read
These are woods in New York, about 40 miles north of New York City. My family moved here when I was in 4th grade and it's where my husband and I grew up. Beautiful, no? But here's the thing -- I don't feel at home there. I realized this last week when we went back for my mother-in-law's 90th birthday. I might never have realized it without coaching. Coaching has made me less judgmental of myself, which lets me hear my own truths more easily. I mean, someplace beautiful, in a place where you...
8 months ago • 3 min read