A love note to soft edges

publishedabout 2 months ago
2 min read

I love my new kitchen rug. I took a photo of it to send my friend, using my Hipstamatic app. Hipstamatic is a phone app that lets you pick digital film and lenses to create different effects.

I love it because it takes my life and softens the edges. I love how my life looks in my Hipstamatic photos.

Some people say it’s not real – but you know, this really is how I experience my kitchen, all warmth & light. Sometimes.

Hipstamatic also makes me look softer, dreamier. It too is how I experience myself. Sometimes.

It's how others experience me. Some of the time.

Seeing my life through soft filters connects me with the times I do feel this way. It’s such a beautiful gift I give myself.

Often we think the harsh light is more real. Our brains have a negative bias, so it's not hard for us to believe that we really look the way the strong light shows us, all hard edges and shadows, rather than the way the soft light makes us appear.

It's not true.

We get to decide which filter to use.

We choose which truth gets our focus.

This week I had a week of hard edges. I had a couple of nights of insomnia and a migraine. All the lights felt too bright. I started to judge myself (Do life coaches get to have insomnia? Brain, pull it together!) and then I remembered my app.

And I imagined my week through a softer lens.

Lying on the couch with a cool washcloth, the lights off around me, I turned into a glamorous 1950s movie star. Even my insomnia seemed downright literary and cool through my imagined Hipstamatic app.

This week, look for opportunities to imagine yourself through a softer lens. How can the edges of the week become softer with the right framing?

One of the things that gives our life hard lines is regret. In this week's podcast, I take a deep dive into regret to show how we can use it for ourselves instead of against ourselves.

Episode #46: What to do with regret

Ep #46

What person over 40 doesn't sometimes feel regret? We often imagine that if only we had made a different decision in the past, our present life would be different. We'd be happier, healthier, less lonely, more fulfilled.

Regret is judging our past selves for not knowing what our current self does. It feels awful but it's not necessarily a problem. The trick is using it for ourselves instead of against ourselves. In this episode I explain:

⭐ Why it matters that regret is a form of sadness

⭐ How to partner with your past self to learn from the past

⭐ Why taking action in the present is such a powerful antidote to regret

⭐ How to make your future more regret-proof

If you feel mired in regret about the past, this episode offers a way out. And if you're not feeling the pain of regret, this episode offers a way to make your life more regret-proof.

Love, Rachel

P.S. Hipstamatic is great, but there's no better way to change your framing than 1:1 coaching. It lets you soften your edges and put your own desires and needs at the center of the frame. Sign up for a free consultation ⁠here⁠.

P.P.S. I'm not a Hipstamatic affiliate -- just a fan. I love the way it makes taking photos fun and artsy. And seeing your actual life in hip, fun framings offers a way to see things anew. If you're inclined, give it a try and let me know what you think. As in life, it might take some trial and error before you find a film/lens combo you love.

⭐ more ways to connect ⭐


website: coachingwithrachel.com

email: rachel@coachingwithrachel.com

looking for a previous love note?: lovenotes.coachingwithrachel.com

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I'm Rachel. Happy to meet you!

I'm a life coach, college professor, and former president of the Overthinkers Club. Also host of Making Midlife Magic podcast. I love helping middle aged people to dream again and to create lives they love.

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