I'm Rachel. Happy to meet you!

A love note to forget your perfect offering

publishedabout 1 month ago
2 min read

Happy Sunday!

Sometimes I want to do something nice for a friend. A text is too small, flowers too impersonal. Maybe I think of sending a card that shares the feelings of my heart. But all the cards are too ordinary.

And then – you know what happens – I do nothing.

Has this ever happened to you?

Or I want to bring a meal to someone after surgery, but get stuck on what to bring, because “everyone brings pasta.” So I try to think of something better. And do nothing.

Ah, perfectionism!

It shows up in so many places. Often my clients tell me that this is why they stopped writing, haven't looked for a new job, or made a dating profile.

They think they aren’t ready.

In their mind, “ready” equals done,, A+, excellent. So they say they’ll write after they learn more craft, look for a new job when they have more experience, make the profile after they lose 20 pounds.

But here’s the thing –

We may never feel "ready" if ready = A+ work.

The trick is to let ourselves do B- work.

This does not come naturally to me. When I first heard this concept at the Life Coach School, I didn't get it. I mean, I’m an A student! B- work?

But then I remembered the cards unsent, the meals not delivered, and I realized that imperfect me is more of a gift than perfect me who doesn’t show up at all.

And that’s why this love note is (again!) arriving on a Sunday. It’s been a bumpy couple of weeks and Saturday hasn’t been possible. So here it is, on a Sunday. Late, and hopefully still a gift to the people who need its message.

This week, look for places where being okay with B- work might allow you to show up more fully. Consider every day activities like household chores and exercise as well as creative projects and relationships.

Where would showing up imperfectly be a gift to yourself & others? ❤️

Perfectionism shows up in our decision making too. We can spend a lot of time trying to figure out the "right" decision -- the one that will give us the ideal outcome. In this week's episode of the podcast, I offer a different way to think about decisions.

Episode #37: How to decide

Ep #37

"Should I stay or should I go?"

Remember that song by the Clash? If only The Clash had this episode! We often think of decisions like life's shell game -- we choose a shell, life spins it around, and then, at some point in the future, we see if we won.

This idea that a decision is good or bad based on how it turns out causes us a lot of pain – because it means we only get to evaluate our decision in the future. And even then, we only get to see the future that we picked. We don’t actually get to see how the other choice would have worked out – We never get to stay and go – although sometimes our brains tell us that the other choice would have led to greater happiness.

In this episode, I offer a more powerful way to make decisions -- one that doesn't rely on choosing the right shell.

Love, Rachel

P.S. If you know someone who would appreciate the message of this love note, please forward this to them, and send them here to get their own delivered weekly!

P.P.S. You might have the Clash in your head now, but this love note is all about Leonard Cohen's advice to "forget your perfect offering". Here he is singing "Anthem" in London.

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