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A love note to asking better questions

publishedabout 2 months ago
2 min read

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The Golden Girls

Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?

Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.


There are no dumb questions.

I have a teacher's heart and I believe this completely (even for you, Rose Nylund!). Any question, sincerely asked, opens a space for curiosity and growth.

But sometimes our brain offers us questions that aren't asked sincerely. They're rhetorical questions whose only function is to make us feel terrible.

What's wrong with me?

Why can't I commit to exercise?

Who would ever put up with me?

These questions don't open up a space of curiosity and growth -- they shut it down.

Replacing these questions with better questions is so powerful.

Questions like,

How can I make it easier to exercise?

How can I help myself to reach my goals?

How can I love myself better?

It's easy for me to know when I'm asking a disempowering question -- I feel awful!

Asking empowering questions lets me breathe more easily, and helps me be curious. Empowering questions activate the problem-solving, loving parts of my brain.

This week, see if any of the questions you ask yourself could use a glow up. If you hear yourself asking a question that makes you feel awful, try on a more powerful version, one that invites curiosity, openness, and possibility.


One disempowering question that our brain sometimes offers us is, Who do you think you are? Rather than replacing it, I suggest we answer it in an empowering way. I explain in episode 35 of Making Midlife Magic.

Episode #35: Who do you think you are?

Ep #35

Sometimes we start to dream, to imagine ourselves and our lives bigger than ever before. And then a voice in our head says, Who do you think you are?

This voice says,

❌ Stay in your lane.

❌ People like you can't do that.

❌ Don't think about doing that at your age.

We start to question ourselves, to think that we have dreamed too big. We make ourselves or our dreams smaller. We stay unhappy and unfulfilled.

Instead, we need to answer the question. Who do you think you are? in ways that magnify our shine.

In this episode,

🌟 What it means to shine and how it's different from being great

🌟 Why shining is worth it, even if you don't succeed

🌟 How shining brightly helps others as well as yourself

🌟 How to answer the question, Who do you think you are?

Take a listen & let me know what you think!

Love, Rachel

P.S. I'm giving away a one-hour coaching session every month of 2023! Enter at pages.coachingwithrachel.com/giveaway. Open to everyone, including former and current clients. No stress, no sales, just a one-hour conversation to help you get clarity on any issue. Please pass along to anyone who might love this! ❤️

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